“How I Want To Be”
Nicholas E. Stratas
In our research for Thriving Unlimited one of the characteristics we find in common in those we have interviewed is the focus on the present, doing what it presents and going forward. We are inner and goal directed, feel, think, behave. I started my seeing patients in 1960 focusing on the issue/problem the patient brought. The practice of medicine focuses on “presenting problems”. I found myself listening to and working about that presenting problem forever. In my parallel practice of consultations to organizations I found myself attending to and guided by the client’s mission, objectives and goals both private for profit and non-profits and public government.
Thus, in the early 1960s I began to evolve through a series of steps to add to the end of the first visit a homework assignment. By the early 1970s this became – “if I tapped you on the shoulder with a magic wand and you would become the person you want to be – do a written description”. Please describe “How I want to be”. The switch to consulting with the patient about being how each wanted to be was remarkable. We dealt as necessary with the presenting issue. However, as we worked on each individual getting life where they wanted, the presenting issue was resolved. We no longer found ourselves obsessive with the presenting problem. We were working on present and forward wants.
In couples therapy I quickly evolved that same practice. I ask each of the couple to do this same assignment. At the next session each of them read their “How I want to be”. The other listens as a cheer leader. The task of getting there is the responsibility of each for their own description.
So, do you recognize that your energy and direction come from within? We live in the present and move forward in a direction determined from within. If you understand this, if you are conscious about this, congratulations. If not I encourage you to do yourself a favor. If I had a magic wand, tapped you on the shoulder and you would become the person you want to be, how would you be? So for yourself sit down, write “How I want to be” at the top of the page and describe that. You are the magic wand!
Once done, recognize the description coming from within you, you already have the tools within you to be how you want to be. You are that description now. Keep it in front of you in your daily walk along your life, be that description. Be it every day.
Revisit this work at least once or twice a year without the benefit of the prior description. Once done import your prior with your new description.
We each carry with us this description whether conscious or intuitive. In our work with Thriving Unlimited every person we have interviewed has a sense of direction and moves forward dealing with what that puts before them.
More to come on this topic. Questions are welcome.