Reform Your Inner Mean Girl

by Cynthia Hazen

Here is a great read and workbook to transform undermining self talk that we use to bring ourselves down.  I appreciate that the authors have incorporated tools I have used from traditional cognitive-behavioral therapy as well as yoga and metaphysical methodology and references.  So, if this is up your ally, as it is mine, than this is a useful book for you.

Essentially the authors, Ahlers & Arylo, offer a 7 step process to assess the nature of your inner mean girl(s).  They offer an assessment instrument to determine which inner mean archetypes or combination of a few of them  — achievement junkie, comparison queen, doing addict, drama queen, fixer/rescuer, good girl, head tripper, invincible superwoman, martyr, overly optimistic avoider, perfectionist, rejection queen, and worrywart — predominate the negative thinking we use. They define the primary weapons for self destructiveness, toxic habits and the lies used by each of these archetypes.  They offer plenty of playful methods for observing and transforming this undermining thinking and behavior.

Ahlers & Arylo use the concept “inner wisdom”, I like to think of inner wise woman, source or intuitive guidance, to express to broader and wider consciousness available in each of us.  In traditional religious language this is akin to accessing our direct relationship with God.  They offer tools and playful methods for accessing and cultivating our relationship to this wisdom and then using this alliance to transform the undermining self talk and behavior.

In my experience as a psychotherapist what they are discussing and facilitating the transformation of are the defensive mechanisms we cultivate to protect ourselves that we then turn on ourselves.  The things we think and do to separate ourselves from others, from source, from love.  They give wonderful and playful methods in a very humanizing approach to open our hearts and heal our defenses and to deal with ourselves and others with compassion.